Why I am not going to Copenhagen

Posted by Andy Hamilton - 18/12/09 at 12:12:51 pm

I keep being asked why I am not over in Copenhagen, so I thought I would take some time to anwser.  The main reason is that I don’t really think that using all of that carbon to travel there, just to protest outside a building, would make a difference. If I thought it would I would have been there in a flash.

A few years ago I emailed 100’s of Mp’s and wrote letters to various Supermarkets campaing for a plastax here in the UK. Ok, that did not happen but what has happened is that many Supermarkets are now at least making moves towards reducing their use. Was this down to me alone? Well, no of course not – although at one point when you googled “Tesco Carrier bag”, the top search linked back to this site showing a letter full of greenwash from Tesco along with my irate reply. So, every little helps. The point that I am trying to make is that, whilst I think there is a place for direct action, I also think that if many people took a bit more intelligent direct action real differences could be made.

Back to Cop 15,  the saying, “closing the stable door after the horse has bolted”, jumps to mind. I can’t imagine that they will do anything that will make a real difference such as taxing airline fuel, agreeing to stop using coal (Americas next big fuel) or even something small such as banning carrier bags!

Instead what will result will be some wishy washy agreements that won’t make any difference and really won’t mean anything. If Mp’s can’t be trusted with their own expense claims how can we trust them with something that effects other people? Even if they do they will not be in force until 2020 by which point it will be too late.

Rant ends

P.S. This seems to be the only way to save the UK music scene from banality.

Herbs, herbs everywhere

Posted by Andy Hamilton - 10/12/09 at 11:12:47 am

In another life I think I want to come back as some kind of medicine man, well herbalist really.  In fact I have not ruled it out of becoming one in this life. My interest in the medicinal side of wild plants has not dwindled in the last few years and with each passing year, I seem to become more knowledgeable on the subject. It helps that I pick plants and treat myself whenever I get ill; almost getting excited when I am ill just so that I can nip to the local park and pick something to cure myself. It also helps that I take people on wild food walks and that they often love to share whatever knowledge they have. Indeed, I am always pleasantly surprised when the most unexpected of people pipe up with a gem of knowledge.

As with any interest the more you follow it, the more you will meet people with similar interests. In fact I found myself at the opening of  a herbalists apothecary, (I say find myself, I was actually invited). I have to applaud the fella (Max Drake) who opened it as starting a business and especially a retail business at the moment is not up there as one of the wisest moves.  However, this place is perfect from someone like me. If there are herbs that I can’t forage or have not grown enough of I can nip down to the Urban Fringe dispensary at the top of the Christmas steps , Bristol, UK and pick some up. Since the closure of Bristol’s Culpepper shop, Max’’s shop is the only place in Bristol where you can actually buy herbs (excluding non culinary of course). He is providing what I think is an essential service and the more that people learn about herbalism I am certain, the more they will agree.

Without becoming to gushy about this shop and risking sounding like a long advert, I have to say that it is worth popping in just to have a look round the place. As you walk in you will see to your right a display area made from wood salvaged from a 16th Century church.  This really does give the shop some context as it was built 400 years ago, the structure of the building gives this away and apparently parts of the building are made from bits of old ships! You get a real feeling of the people who populated Bristol when looking around this old place. It also seems too that by stacking it full of herbs used to make people well, you are somehow nodding to the past residents of the place.

Anyway, back to the official shop opening. I found myself chatting to all sorts of people from different places. I spent most of the night talking to Zoe Hawes another medical herbalist. We got to talking about books and I got very excited about the book she is working on as it sounds right up my street. It’s called a Foragers Guide to Medicinal plants and will be published by Haymln in March 2010. I have a copy of her 2010 herbal journal, which would be a lovely gift for anyone interested in herbalism and in need of a diary. Zoe seems to have a similar outlook to me insofar as she believes that picking our medicines roots us firmly as human beings and reminds us of the thousands of years of practice that preceded our treatment.

Talking to (but not for) Max, Zoe and another herbalist friend Kathy (who practices at Neils yard in Glasgow) makes me question much about the present medical system and especially the commerce that surrounds it. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes western medicine really is the best option. However, there are times when I make up someone a herbal infusion of lets say mint, chamomile, yarrow and elderflower when they have a cold and I know they are only humouring me when they say thanks just to reach for a paracetamol. Or if someone has an upset stomach and I pass them some ginger. I know that I am in danger of sounding real “new worldy” or “hippyfied” in some peoples eyes by openly talking about herbalism with this but I would not mention any of it if I did not know that it worked. Time and time again I hear of medical trials that place herbs above western medicine for certain ailments. Take cold sores for example Lemon balm comes up trumps when used to treat them! What’s more with herbs is that there are little or no side effects.

I guess the real difference with herbs, herbal medicine and especially foraged for medicine is that there are not huge companies making huge amounts of money from them. It everyone grew their own drugs where would we be then? Perhaps the massive drug companies would start to flounder and we would not want that would we? They do such a great job of keeping us well and as such reasonable prices too.

Max Drake’s Urban Fringe Dispensary is situated at 58 Colston Street, Bristol, BS1 5AZ, Zoe Hawes is the author of the Herbal Journal out now and Foragers Guide to Medicinal Plants out in March 2010. Cath Kay practices from Neils yard, Glasgow.

April fool

Posted by Andy Hamilton - 03/04/09 at 11:04:52 am

Well it looks like no-one fell for my April fools joke, ah well will try again next year. Nope no-one for UKIP has ever approached me.

Happy nothing new year

Posted by Andy Hamilton - 01/01/09 at 12:01:34 pm

Last year, that is way back in 2008, I did my best not buy anything new unless it was really necessary. This year I intend to do one better and buy nothing new at all, seems I am not alone and many of the people on the selfsufficientish forum are doing the same.

I seriously do think that we have manufactured enough not to warrant making anything more for quite a while longer, think of how much damage is done by making a load of old tat that we don’t need, vast swathes of China no longer see daylight due to our apparent need for dancing fish or the third new mobile phone in a year.

It might sound like I want to do without stuff and perhaps whip myself with birch twigs but that misses the point. I think it will actually make me happier not to be bothered with a load of stuff I don’t need at all, besides I prefer second hand stuff.

As I said last year I started this, it was a bit of a half arsed effort to honest and I still bought (new) loads of books, hard drive, memory card, bike trailer, jeans, shirt, power lead, demi johns, potato peeler and well I think that was it. Not loads as I am certainly not much of a shopper, but all stuff that I thought I needed at the time. Did I really?? I did want a digital camera so I bought a second hand one, I wanted a new desk that came second hand but that was about it.

So I am perhaps way more prepared than someone like Paris Hilton, Posh Spice or Gary Coleman would be. Still I can already think of things that I want like a cider press, more demijohns and what about presents for other people?

There are going to have to be exceptions as I won’t be able to do without food. Yes I do produce a lot of my own food and for that matter I will still need to buy seeds, of course I will still have to buy some food. Especially at the moment as I had a poor harvest last year.  So this starts the exceptions..

• Seeds
• Food and drink
• Cycle parts (although I will do my best to get second hand stuff)
• My own book (but no others)
• Medicine and dentistry (If I need a new tooth I am not doing without
• Anything the landlord decides needs doing on the house (Will try and source second hand stuff whenever I can and give him it)

It might sound like I am cheating as I am not going the whole hog and giving up money like Mark Boyle. I wish him all the luck in the world with this one, don’t get me wrong; in fact Mark is a good friend of mine. It’s just this one is not for me, I live in an urban house with my girlfriend and I think it would put too much of a strain on our relationship if I was to give up money and moreover, I like being able to nip down the pub now and then or to tuck into some really nice food.   You can see Marks progress on his blog if you do want to read about a no money idea.

I am sure that now the recession has us well and truly within it’s grasp there will be many people not buying much new for 2009, alas not for the same reasons. Whatever happens I wish you all a very happy nothing new year and I hope that you all get what you really need this year.

The talk went well now I’m ready for Christmas

Posted by Andy Hamilton - 24/12/08 at 01:12:21 pm

Well I gave a talk to the Lesbian, Gay and Transgender Pagan Society of Birmingham the night before last, it was the first talk that I had given on my own so I was more than a little aprehensive. Dave is normally standing next to me and we work well as a team, if one of us dries up the other steps in.  I met up with the main organiser known as “sleepy owl” a regular of the selfsufficientish web forum who showed me around Birmingham as I was six hours early.

Anyway, the talk went very well and the group were very friendly. Part of the talk mentions energy saving and the group seemed to find the part when I spoke about running a cooker hob more efficiently most entertaining. I do say that you need a flat bottom (pan) and make sure you don’t have a crusty ring.

So another good acheviement to finish off the year, next time I have to speak alone to a group of people I at least know I can do it.

Now feels that I can relax and really enjoy Christmas. Have a really good one anyone that reads this! Now, I have to work out if 12 noon is a little too early to nip down the local and start the festivities.

At Teather’s End

Posted by Andy Hamilton - 19/12/08 at 01:12:27 pm

The other night I had an amazing experience; I was in a play. I don’t mean performed, I mean I was part of the play.

The play was a wonder club production called at Teathers end. Unfortunately it looks like it won’t tour as it is specifically written using the space in which it was performed namely the Trinity Centre a converted church just outside of the centre of Bristol. If it does then buy a ticket!

It is set in the Old Market area of Bristol in 1869 described as “A place of vice, poverty and grim hope” a description which would befit old Market today.

The audience gathered outside the old church drinking mulled cider. The doors of the church were slung open, mist bellowed out and haunting Latin choral melodies were heard increasing in volume as a funeral procession slowly proceeded out of the building. Without taking a cue we all followed as we were now active members of the play. We walked up stairs and the true and rather tragic story of how William Pullin was driven to the murder of his best friend PC Richard Hill starts to unfold.

Sitting as if we were in the congregation of a church we then move downstairs to celebrate the forthcoming marriage of Richard Hill. A scruffy looking bloke invites us to the three crowns pub claiming that he is the landlord. We walked down stairs and entered 19th Century Bristol. I was amazed at how much effort and detail had been put into the sets of this place. Everything was made from cardboard and as the lights were low and people were in 18th Century costume milling about the place, pickpocketing, begging and generally having a chit chat (in character) it really did have the feel of what it would have been like – I am sure the smells were very different. It almost reminded me of how Dr Who does Victorian but somehow a little more believable (I guess as their were no aliens). They must have spent hours on this area and even if you miss the play I would try and get in to the Trinity Centre just to see the set.

The play did confuse me at times as events were going on across this small square and you were not really told where the action was going to be. You could stay in the pub, visit the Doctor (who told everyone they had VD) or go to the butchers to name a few. After sinking a few pints and having my pockets picked twice I got a bit of the hang of the play and realised that you needed to listen out for clues as to where the action would be and as in any real life event everyone was going to leave with a different viewing of the events. As a hint though try following the lead (played by Malcolm Hamilton, no relation) who you might recognise from a certain lager advert and also follow the Police man.

I am not an avid play goer, in fact I can count the number of plays I have seen on just over one hand. I would say however, that this was the most moving and perhaps the best I have seen. I would urge anyone in Bristol or even near to Bristol to go and watch it. It really did move me to tears due to the extremely high standard of acting by all involved, the understated yet very appropriate music and the believability of the whole set. Again I would urge you to go and see it, ot is worth seeing just to watch the vicar get carried away with his role and to have your gloves stolen by a hobbit like street urchin.

At Tethers End

15th – 20th December 2008
8pm @ The Trinity Centre, Bristol, BS2 ONW

Book tickets @ the
Tobacco Factory Box Office – 0117 9020344

For more information – Michelle 0777 303 8570 or Nick 07533 633 308

At Teather’s end

Public speaking preperations

Posted by Andy Hamilton - 17/12/08 at 04:12:41 pm

I agreed to give a talk months ago in Birmingham to a LGBT pagan group in Birmingham. I was starting to wish I never as this sort of thing always puts me in a strange sort of mood for the week preceding it. Thankfully after a long chat with the organiser I feel pretty good about it, well ok about it anyhow.

I have a love hate relationship with public speaking, I hate it before hand and always want to run off and not do it. I get very, very nervous which in turn makes me a little short tempered at times, even during the talk at times. It is most odd. Afterwards I am walking on air for a couple of days, so it does seem worth it in the end. Especially after a good talk. (We did give one very bad talk, and I won’t mention it here needless to say I still shudder about it now)

The thing with this one is that it will be the first that I have done by myself. This makes the preparation slightly different that usual. What usually happens is that Dave and I will argue about who’s house we practice in. When we finally decide we go through the talk together, taking the subjects that we both know the best to talk about. This means that Dave has become more of an expert than I have in certain areas and visa versa and that when either of us flounder the other helps them out. So what happens when I flounder here, well I guess I have to muddle through. It is both an exhillarating and terrifying thought.

I was very glad to have Dave sitting next to me when we spoke on Radio 4’s today program and on BBC Breakfast earlier in the year as I was white with fright.  That was certainaly the single most terrifying moment of my life. Since then I have spoken on live radio a few times. The last time I got an hour long slot on local station BCFM. On a side note I notice that Ed Stourton has been sacked from the Today program, I met him when we went on there and I can’t say that I feel sorry for him. He did not even look up when we entered the room, let alone say hello in short I thought he was a self centred twat.  John Humphies did and he even came out of the studio to say good bye, the other bloke their did at least nod his head too. I wonder if the fickle media world is not entriely that fickle, I hear rumours that the nice people tend to stay.

Well I am putting off preparing the talk just to write this so I had better get on and bloody well write it instead of adding to the already flooded pool of showbiz gossip.

Oh and the talk well if you are interested it is happening on the 22nd of December from 8pm at the Wellington Hotel Bristol Street Birmingham. It cost nothing, I promise to try and be interesting and it won’t be like the talk I try not mention – the mistake I made with that one was thinking I could talk off the top of my head. I learnt the hard way, you can’t.

Merry Ishmas

Posted by Andy Hamilton - 09/12/08 at 07:12:59 pm

We created a word with “selfsufficientish” and so what’s to stop us creating another one with Ishmas? So what is ishmas? What does it mean? Well it’s like Christmas; in fact it really is what Christmas future will have to be as it is sustainable and thoughtful.

Ishmas is celebrated on the 25th December and has one message and one alone and that is to really think before you do anything for Ishmas day. Think about what you buy and think about your loved ones, don’t allow any of them to go hungry and don’t get tricked into thinking that the more money you spend on them the happier they will be.

So many people tend to forget their morals and consuming habits at Christmas time, this was very apparent when I went to a Christmas market in Bath at the weekend; hundreds of people were trying to push through the narrow streets, ladened with arms full of wrapping paper, decorations and presents. All things that I am cutting back on buying this year. In fact the only presents I am buying are copies of my own book, and I am only giving out one of those. So think ishmas, think don’t spend money.

I might sound like a humbug, but I think I am giving people far more thoughtful and individual presents than I could get was I too trudge around an out of town shopping monstrosity. My shop is the local common, the wood and well I do also need to buy the odd ingredient from a health food shop. Oh and I think, like James Strawbridge of It’s not easy being green fame, there is no harm in buying just one book – The Selfsufficientish Bible.

Decorations and trees

Ishmas starts with decorations, we still have some left from Christmas past the odd bit of tinsle and the plastic tree but as ever bits get broken and go missing and there always seems to be half as much as the year before. So for decorations for Ishmas this year I decided that we would weed our friends allotment, he has a holly tree and having the corner plot he has ivy growing all over the surrounding walls. We filled up to bags with this holly and ivy and it now adorns our living room, it really does make the room feel cosy too. According to the Druids by bringing in evergreens we are giving the natural spirits somewhere safe to stay, nice one always good to have spirits at Christmas.

If our “normal” decorations start to fall apart next year then they will be totally replaced with holly, ivy and other evergreens that I will get from the local area. Thus being a carbon free and highly sustainable way of decorating the house. I will have to point out that you should be careful with this approach if you have small children or animals as many everygreen berries are poisonus.

I will keep the plastic tree though as I don’t see any need of growing one when a fake one does the job. This tree on the left belongs to an old lady in Chippenham and it is thought to be the oldest christmas tree in use. It is still being used after 120 christmases. I am not sure if ours will last that long. This must be the most sustainable christmas tree in the world too as only one tree has been used instead of 120, imagine if every tree was fake and lasted this long we would all save a fortune on the yearly cost of trees which stands at £20 million just here in the UK.

Presents

I have to be careful with what I write here about presents as I know that some of the recipents read my blog, so no clues here Mum! Needless to say it the thought that counts with presents. I had to start to make some of my presents months ago and so they will have lots of thought put into them. One that I can talk about is my hop pillow, for my insomniac friend. I cut up a very tatty old white shirt into one big square. Then I sewed up each side of it leaving a big gap. I filled it with hops from my allotment, a few sprigs of lavender and the rest of the shirt to pad it out a little. Then I sowed up the final side to make a pillow.

I have also dug up feverfew from my allotment to give to a friend who gets a lot of migranes. For other friends I have a big barrel of beer on the brew and they are going to get a bottle each with a personalised label. For example, “blue moon ale” will be written on the label of a mate who only drinks every few months.

Lastly I am putting together herbal kits including ointments made from ingredients I have foraged and dried herbs that I have foraged. These are for the people that you would normally buy soap for as you don’t have a clue what to get them.

I hope that everyone will be happy with what they are given and I am very thankful that I don’t have any teenagers to but for. Well I guess I would just give them booze and I am sure they would be happy. Not so sure their parents would be though.

Wrapping paper

So what do you use for ishmas wrapping paper? Last year I used old magazines, but I used these wisely only using pages that I thought relivant to the recipent of the gift. So my big mouthed friend got pictures of Jade goody, my political friend got picture of MP’s and Dave got pictures of dog’s playing cards.

I will also be making paper this year from mushrooms but if I said more it might spoil the surprise of one of my gifts.

Transport

I decided too that I might not spend any money on transport this year either and am seriously contemplating cycling home. Home is up in Northampton which is about 102 according to google maps. This I could be done in a day if I was feeling very fit, in reality 2 days would mean I could do it all in daylight which does sound like a better plan. I would stay at a mates house, certainly would mean that I would not have to worry about the crowds at the train and bus stations.

If the weather is bad though I will scrub this idea and try for a liftshare.

Ishmas

So that would be an ishmas, I hope you agree that instead of a Christmas full of stress and spending it is one full of joy and love. Merry Ishmas everyone.

Brewing 100 pints of Yarrow Beer, free Economy and new desk

Posted by Andy Hamilton - 19/11/08 at 03:11:24 pm

Brewing 100 pints of Yarrow Beer for the Free Economy

Last week I turned up to a meeting in a pub regarding the free economy. More on that later. The free economy lot are throwing a party offering free food and drink to anyone that turns up at the end of the month to celebrate the founders experiment of living without spending money for a year and of course buy nothing day. The party is to be held in just over a week on buy nothing day (29th November) and I agreed to supply some home brew. Having never brewed anything over 40 pints before this was indeed to be a challenge. The ingredients were no problem being just Yarrow, Malt Extract, Sugar, Water and Yeast - I wrote up the recipe and a brief introduction just here.

The interesting thing I found out about Yarrow is that it contains Thujone an ingredient also found in Absinthe. So I am going to assume that Yarrow ale/beer could be slightly psychedelic. Well as I am brewing 100 pints of it for over 100 people I am doubtful that it will really matter as I can’t see anyone having enough of it to have any effect.

Yarrow has been used by humans for the last 60 000 years and apart from being used to brew a psychedelic beer it has had many other medicinal uses including treating toothache, kidney disorders, toothache, piles and to stem the flow of blood. In fact soldiers throughout the ages have gone into battle with a pocket full of yarrow for this very reason. Indeed, in some circles it has been called the warriors herb. I love it as it grows everywhere and I tend to take an infusion of the stuff when I am feeling a bit run down, it seems to help.

Making the beer itself was a bit tricky to say the least, I got my 100 litre (22 gallon) water butt (see below) and filled it with steralizing solution and warm water. This involved getting the hose out or I could have been there for hours; as I had no tap attachment I had to tape the hose to the tap and flooded the kitchen a little as it kept firing off. I then rinsed it out with colder water and had much the same experience.

Now knee high in water I added the malt and sugar to the brew bin which I then moved to a warmer room – The dining room. My girlfriend seems to be grinning and bearing it as my home brew collection starts to take over, I have not told her that I intend on having something brewing constantly now for ever more. She does make the odd comment that makes me think she might disapprove such as, “if that f*****ng thing bubbles one more time”, or “I can’t come into the kitchen I am going to heave”.

Boiling the yarrow did smell a little and it had to be done in two large pans that I have for home brewing, one 7 litre and one 4.  Picking the yarrow was easier than I thought as I found a spot with loads of it, I would suggest doing the same if you are to make this as you when there are only a couple of plants in one area they are best left totally alone to give them the best chance for survival; you need about 1 pannier bag or roughly one carrier bag full so you will need a lot. I later found that trying to measure out almost 2 kilograms of yarrow is not the easiest in a small kitchen with tiny scales. So to add to the water there are now bits of yarrow, grass and clover all over the kitchen.

Anyway, if you want to recreate this then here are the ingredients and the full recipe is over here.

Ingredients

• 3.4kg organic Barley malt extract (10 jars)
• 2.7 kg Brewing Sugar
• 1.75 kg Fresh Yarrow leaves
• 56 litres of water
• 1 cup of good ale yeast
• a small jar of honey (for priming)

You may ask what on earth is going on in that picture, the thing on the far right is my water butt  wrapped with a fleecy sleeping bag to keep the brew to a regular temperature without having to have the heating on all night. It is being propped up by a few bricks so that when it comes to draining out the brew into its beer barrel the job will be slightly easier. No need for siphoning tubes with this set up. I am slightly concerned that if the bricks get cold they will radiate coldness and cause the brew to cool down this is why the local paper has been pushed under as an after thought.

Free Economy

….Which according to it’s founder Mark Boyle, “It’s about making the transition from a money-based communityless society to a community-based moneyless society”. You might have heard about Mark in the past as he was the bloke who gave up everything he owned and decided to walk to India.

Dave and I have got involved with them on and off over the last few months, mostly offering free forages. What happens in short is rather like freecycle but with your skills instead. People list what they can do anyting from house building to scrabble playing. You sign up, putting in your address and it tells you who is nearby so if you need a head massage, want to borrow a drill or need help with your dahlias then it is worth a look.

New Desk

On Saturday we popped into the Bristol branch of Emmaus a big warehouse type shop full of second hand furniture. Everything there is donated and all the procedes go to help desitute people in need of a home, work and support. It is one of my favorite shops as I love second hand furniture. I saw a massive desk and immediately wanted it, my old one although it has served me well is just too small, once I have a couple of books on it, it is filled.

So I excepted delivery of my Edwardian second hand desk yesterday. Great I thought it is perfect so big that I could sleep on it. Then I awoke in the middle of Sunday night; the day before delivery. I realised that it was so big that it would not fit in the house. I measured up the staircase and the front door and indeed I felt sure it would not fit.

So all credit to the three blokes from Emmaus who worked out that by taking it around the back, through the french doors then, taking apart the bannister we could fit it in.  It was odd but I think there was a real sense of winning in the face of adversity when we eventually go it in.

Bycycle diaries – day 4 and 5. Midlands to the North

Posted by Andy Hamilton - 14/11/08 at 01:11:59 pm

Day 4 Northampton – Redmile

Awoke early in the Morning, having moved out of my parents house  in my early twenties it seems odd to get up before them having drank less than them. I was full of energy and decided to nip over the road to see my Nan. She seemed pretty pleased to see me and I stayed chatting to her for longer than I should have, got to know a bit more about the family history. I am glad that I never met my Great-Grandad (on my Dad’s, Dad’s side) as he sounds like a right nasty piece of work. He used to chauffer for the Rothschilds and it seems that he was rather envious of their money. He tried to get money from relatives going back to the Irish Hamiltons in County Cork but they told him where to stick it.

Anyway, it was odd to follow the first bit of the route through Northampton as, at one point, I used to cycle this way to work every morning. I then had to turn off and find the cycle route 6. I got to the point on the map where I thought this was and ended up cycling through Kingsthorpe Village, (made famous as the tarty one from Birds of a Feather used to live there).

This route did not seem one of the greatest I thought as I pulled my bike over a fence. It got worse as the path seemed to follow the quagmire that had built up under a bridge and I had to maneuver my bike across thick sticky mud with a fast flowing River Nene only inches away. Then I crossed shoulder high nettles and stumbled through massive ditches before finally getting to the end of this bit of the path. Then I discovered the real route 6, a pristine tarmaced, level cycle track. This must have added a further hour onto my time I thought and felt a little daft.

Now on the Brampton way I was making good time, this bit of the route from Northampton to Market Harborough is all off road. This I find has it’s plus and minus points, you don’t have huge trucks passing you by or have boy racers trying to knock you off the road. What you do have is people and close to ‘places of interest’, you can have lots of them. People cause you to slow down more then anything else. I urge anyone reading this to please spare a thought for us cyclists, we don’t want to run you over so when walking on a cycle path please keep to one side, either side will do and please keep your dog and kids under a watchful eye as we don’t really want them running under our wheels either.

I carried on this path, this long straight path with bushes either side of it for ages. After cycling through villages and next to open fields with game birds flying over your head this was a little different. As I cycled it started to become hard work, I puzzled as to why. I was rested, well fed and was only a few days in. I puzzled for a little longer then it dawned on me, “It’s because I am bored”. This was not what expect when I started this journey, there was nothing to see other than the odd dog walker or rambler and to be frank I was getting fed up of them, they might see the odd cyclist but I was saying hello every 2 minutes (god, I can be a miserable bastard sometimes).

The bordom of this path was briefly interupted by Kelmash Tunnel a long dark tunnel with an uneven path. I cycled through slowly, bouncing around as I went. I could hear a scurrying noise which I can only attribute to rats. I got through the tunnel and looked at the otherside to see a sign that stated “Cyclists dissmount and push”, ah well always liked being a bit of a rebel.

A bit further on was a slightly shorter tunnel, I could see a light inside this one it looked like a bike light and was travelling very, slowly towards me. I reached it and saw a women stairing at the floor pushing her bike. I said hello to her and got a mutter back, I had the distinct feeling she highly dissaproved of me cycling through the tunnel and not getting off and pushing. It is odd how you can put a sign up in places and people will immediately comply to such an extent that they will try and get others to comply too.

I did want to get to Newark today, but I think due to the wrong turn at the start of the day I had run out of light and it was starting to rain. I decided that I would stay at the first place I found, unluckily this was a posh ‘Inn’ in Redmile 10 miles south of Newark and was to cost me £55, plus a further £10 for my meal. This was the first time I felt a little lonley, it is fine being on your own I don’t mind that at all. In fact I often prefer it, but being on your own with other people around I am not a big fan of. I wolfed my dinner down and and had an early night.

Day 5 – Redmile – Great Limber

Set off the earliest I have done far, quite happy to get back on the road. The first noteworthy thing on this route was the crows/ravens or whatever they were. I looked up at one point and hundreds of them were circling me after cycling for a bit I saw a dead one on the ground, it seemed that they were circling their dead. I thought that they were plotting their revenge against humans up there, away from us. Then I remembered I had been on my own for quite a while now and no doubt my mind was starting to make a few things up for me.

It was not just my over active imagination that was keeping me entertained it was myself, realising that I was out of earshot I decided to start shouting and singing to myself. It felt rather freeing as here in Bristol I am normal only ever a few feet away from someone and therefore it is not easy to really shout without causing a bit of a stir, I am sure my neighbours already think I am not quite right in the head.

I did not see much of Newark, someone had written on the cycle path just outside Newark “Tramps this way”. I think it was supposed to be a statement rather than an instruction. I passed through Newark, I pondered for a little while as to if it was worth a look around and decided to crack on. I could always return here when I had more time.

Onwards and upwards, I got to Lincoln and that looked pretty amazing. I amazed myself when I cycled up the hill that Lincoln sits on without feeling it. It must be that I was starting to get fit. I liked the look of Lincoln and thought to myself that it would be worth a visit in the future.

One thing I noted was just how stunning it was, old buildings nestled in with the new and even parts of the town wall were still intact. There also seemed to be a vibrant art scene (yes I noticed all this from my bike). Well when I say that what I really mean is I saw this big sculpture on the side of a building and thought that it looked pretty cool.

The downside of Lincolnshire is the driving, it was here that I felt the most vunerable on a bike. I again got a little lost coming out of Lincoln and realised that towns and cities add an extra hour onto your journey time as they are so fiddly to navigate. When I got to the main road heading north from Lincoln I could almost taste the danger, cars were shooting past me at speed and were not keeping their distance nor for that matter were the massive articulated lorries. Saying to myself this is very dangerous being on this road, I have to get off it as quickly as possible. To set my mind at rest I saw a sign telling me how many accidents their had been on this stretch of the road in the last month, one a day, great!

I carried on and cycled past a church with a flat spire aparently one of only a handful in the country. Round here were some real free range chickens too, wandering into the middle of the road and they were absolutely everywhere. There did not seem to be a chicken shed in the vacinity either, I thought about looking for eggs as that would be a great thing to say I had foraged but then remembered the logisics of carrying single eggs; especially whilst on a bike.

I really wanted to get as far as the Humber Bridge and thought that I could even see it from some areas, well the humber river anyway all lit up. In hindsight I think it was a road. Realising that I had done around 80 miles this day I decided that crossing the Humber was to be for another day, well the next day any road.

I stopped at another Inn, really I was looking for a B & B as more often than not the people that run them like people and will chat to you. Although I was too knackered to talk, and was again a little freaked out by people having fun around me. Not great having to eat on your own on a Saturday night, I think the waitress thought I had crawled out of a pond too. Mind you I had not showered and my beard was coming on so she might not have been far wrong.

So tomorrow the Humber bridge, gateway to the true North of England.

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